Dear Church Family,
I’m writing this on Thursday, April 25, 2024. Tomorrow, I head to Omaha to officiate a wedding for a close family friend. It’s going to be a long day with an early start and a late ending but deep down I’m looking forward to it. Why? Because weddings are a day when we’re publicly reminded that love is a choice. Yes, the bride and the groom have “twitterpated” feelings toward each other, but nonetheless, they have made the choice to commit to one another.
We know that not all weddings result in a life-long marriage. You can’t anticipate what your spouse will say or do to you and sometimes you might be surprised by what you are capable of doing or responding in a situation. Marriages are hard. Frankly, relationships can be hard, at least deep ones. It’s easy to be friends with the person sitting next to you at a game when you are cheering for the same team. But what happens when that same friend criticizes you? Do you still want them to be a friend? Do you respond in such a way that they want to keep you as their friend?
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Our spouses should be our best friend, and as such, sometimes they have the opportunity to speak truth into our lives; an opportunity to say what we need to hear. A strong marriage will allow this to happen. A strong friendship will too. But this is a choice we all have to make. Will we allow our friends to be our friends? Will we see the “wounds” they give as something we need for our own growth and appreciate them even more? It takes a real friend to say what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
Grace Church exist to make maturing followers of Jesus Christ and one of the ways we grow is through our friendships. Three years ago, a close friend of mine here at Grace sat me down for a very serious conversation; a “come-to-Jesus” meeting if you will. Was it hard for me? Sure, it was. No one likes to be criticized. Was it hard for him? Yes! Very few like confronting people they love. I will say this, I respected him more than ever and my trust of him has continued to grow. This is the power of true friendship.
I’m praying the couple I’m uniting in marriage will have that type of friendship. I’m praying you already do. But it requires you to make a choice. Are you the type of friend who desires growth and encourages truth? Are you the type of friend who can speak the truth lovingly? The only way to find out may be to ask a friend.
I’m so glad God has continued to let me be your pastor,
Pastor Daniel